Episode 71: Tending To Our Selves with Dave Conley

When is it time to turn inward?

When we show up for the people that we love, our attention is diverted from other things. There’s so much in this world that is competing for our time and attention. The result of this attention-grabbing is that our inner center is often left unattended. When we focus outwardly, especially in a helping profession, we tend to ignore the important inner work that needs to happen in order to take care of ourselves. My guest today has done extensive work with how we show up in the world to different people with a fully integrated life. I am delighted to bring to you the wisdom of Dave Conley. 

concentric circles

Dave thinks of each individual life as a series of concentric circles. There is the innermost circle of you, and then the circles around represent your relationship to the rest of the world. Dave is going to tease apart some of those most important relationships, and how feeding and nurturing and tending to that inner circle can extend its influence to the rest of your relationships. He will also tease out an excellent understanding of resilience, and how the right kinds of self-nurturing can build us up to weather the storm. 

Dave speaks from a place of personal experience and interpersonal empathy that rings so true for me. His calling to helping professionals, anyone in general, to put more work into your innermost self, and place less focus and energy just on being seen. We show up the most visibly when our innermost self is nurtured and loved. Dave will teach us techniques to help us slow down, pause, and take care of ourselves with small, sustainable shifts. Once we learn to do that, our impact on the rest of the world becomes that much more effective. 

 

Quotes:

 Right at the very, very center of yourself is your spiritual practice. It's your self-practices, how you move. It's how you eat is how you take care of yourself. Just the very, very center. It's you. – Dave Conley

Right at the very, very center of yourself is your spiritual practice. It's your self-practices, how you move. It's how you eat is how you take care of yourself. Just the very, very center. It's you.
– Dave Conley

 There's only a finite amount of attention that we have in any given day. And if we keep splitting those things up over and over again, it takes time to refocus from thing to thing to thing. -Dave Conley

There's only a finite amount of attention that we have in any given day. And if we keep splitting those things up over and over again, it takes time to refocus from thing to thing to thing. -Dave Conley

 When you don’t have to push and work so hard to be seen, the effort that was previously going towards that is freed up to go to so many other things. –Rebecca Wong

When you don’t have to push and work so hard to be seen, the effort that was previously going towards that is freed up to go to so many other things. –Rebecca Wong

Resources: 

Get better sleep and connect with Dave.

https://limitl.es/rebecca/

 

Working With Rebecca:

Dive deeper with Rebecca while helping to support production of the #POBScast when you join our Wild Woman Discussion Groups. We meet online the last Thursday of the month through September 2018. 

Learn more about working with Rebecca's 1-on-1 integration coaching at: practiceofbeingseen.com/integration-coaching

Learn more about Rebecca’s relationship therapy practice and intensive couples retreat in NY go to connectfulness.com

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