Episode 68: Understanding Gender Identity with Dara Hoffman-Fox

Deep down, don’t we all want to be seen? How do we put into practice seeing each other? 

My guest today is Dara Hoffman-Fox, LPC and Gender Therapist. Dara loves to talk about the invisible spaces, and no issue brings that to light better than the expression of gender identity. 

I’ve been wanting this conversation with Dara to happen for such a long time. Dara’s doing inspiring work as a Non-Binary Gender Therapist specializing in gender questioning, Non-Binary, and Transgender individuals. Dara has really found a niche in their work and it is ever evolving. Dara is on a mission not just to educate other therapists about the specific and often alienating issues these individuals face, but also to inspire a community of people who are practicing inclusive language and attitudes in every aspect of life.  

Dara offers beautiful language to understand our social biases towards binary gender. Yes, there are more than two forms of sexual identity, and there’s also a wide world of gender expression. Along the way, Dara will share with us all the illustrative and beautiful moments where these issues have directly impacted Dara’s life. I’m excited to share these informational stories with my listeners. We have so much to learn from Dara’s experiences, from the visceral feeling of being misgendered and the universal longing to be seen accurately. 

Now is a chance to opening up your desires and bring awareness with us wherever we go. Let’s make preferred pronouns a part of the conversation. Let’s ask ourselves how we can begin to make conscious decisions about the words we choose and the gendered labels that need to go by the wayside. Dara invites us all to enter into a social movement that allows everyone regardless of gender identity and gender expression, to be seen for who they really are!   

Quoted in the Episode:

 “I feel very consistent in my Non-Binary identity. Sometimes, I call my gender ‘Dara’ because that’s exactly who I am and what it is.” –Dara Hoffman-Fox

“I feel very consistent in my Non-Binary identity. Sometimes, I call my gender ‘Dara’ because that’s exactly who I am and what it is.” –Dara Hoffman-Fox

 “I’m not being a pain when I ask people what their pronouns are. I am genuinely trying to know and understand them.”-Dara Hoffman-Fox

“I’m not being a pain when I ask people what their pronouns are. I am genuinely trying to know and understand them.”-Dara Hoffman-Fox

 “I have to remember that non-binary gender identity is very new to me and new to society.” –Dara Hoffman-Fox

“I have to remember that non-binary gender identity is very new to me and new to society.” –Dara Hoffman-Fox

 “The moment a server mis-genders me, it puts a skid in my experience…I feel like I haven’t been seen properly.” –Dara Hoffman-Fox      “You went from feeling unseen and not connected, to collaborating with this person and feeling known.” –Rebecca Wong

“The moment a server mis-genders me, it puts a skid in my experience…I feel like I haven’t been seen properly.” –Dara Hoffman-Fox 

 

“You went from feeling unseen and not connected, to collaborating with this person and feeling known.” –Rebecca Wong

 “The best journeys we go on in life are very spiritual, and they tend to find us.” –Rebecca Wong

“The best journeys we go on in life are very spiritual, and they tend to find us.” –Rebecca Wong

 “I’m aware of how much of the conversation about gender is in these invisible spaces, and how that is the crux of the issue. How do we practice seeing each other?” –Rebecca Wong

“I’m aware of how much of the conversation about gender is in these invisible spaces, and how that is the crux of the issue. How do we practice seeing each other?” –Rebecca Wong

Where to find Dara: 

 

Conversations with a Gender Therapist

Dara's Website

Dara’s e-course: “Beyond They/Them/Theirs: What Nonbinary Clients Want You To Know as Their Mental Health Provider” now available for presale!

 

Resources

Growing up Coy

 

Working With Rebecca:

Rebecca’s integrative mastermind for therapists is now forming. It’s designed to help release blockages, cultivate your vision and tend to yourself and the relationships that support you. Our foci is on integrating your professional and personal parts in full support of you thriving in all aspects of your life, relationships and livelihood. All of these layers of you play together to either elevate you to the next level or hold you stuck in a loop of overwhelm and inaction. 

We’re still accepting enrollment in our Wild Woman Discussion Groups that meet online the last Thursday of the month through September 2018. We’re journeying together in remembering who we are, what we are made of, and why we are here.  

Learn more about working with Rebecca's 1-on-1 integration coaching at: practiceofbeingseen.com/integration-coaching

Learn more about Rebecca’s relationship therapy practice and intensive couples retreat in NY go to connectfulness.com

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